Saturday, January 07, 2017

Modi calling Trump

“Dear Mr. Trump (this is how you like to be called), this is Narendra speaking”
“Narendra who?”
“Oh, I know you are too busy fixing up your team, on the fly ... of course you have a few more days before you can fly on Air Force One ... please be patient ... to answer your question, Narendra Modi, Prime Minister of India.”
“Now I recall; one of your acolytes tried promoting me amongst the Indians here but failed miserably... what do you want? I ain’t got whole day wasting my time on small talk ... I have to do a lot of jugglery to fix up my business(es). Get to the point quick.”
“I took office – there was this grand Swearing In ceremony – in which I stunned everyone and his cousin (see, I am quick to borrow your turns of phrase!) by inviting my counterpart of India’s archenemy, Pakistan.”
“So ...”
“The quick point is, you have room to learn from me too. Invite Vladimir Putin to your Inauguration Ceremony. I invited India’s enemy ... you do so with the only enemy of the US. The occasion demands it. That would stun not just the Dems, but also your enemies within – like the GOP establishment.”
“Hmm ... I ‘d ‘ve to think about that ...”
“Don’t take long ... after all you have to make sure you are a multi-billionaire (as you claim) even after you demit office (here is to hoping it is not too soon)...”
“You have a point, the...”
Modi interrupting, “Two, to be sure ...”
“Yeah ...  thanks for correcting me (you have no idea how much it hurts me to admit I made a mistake; if in the next call you correct me again, I will not take any more calls from you. Understand?). Now, what about me, to add fuel to fire, me walking down, waving and all that – what Jimmy Carter did, but with a twist – hand in hand with Putin! That is a good one, if I should say so myself!”
“Yeah, you are quick on the uptake, Donald (change my shift from Mr. Trump!). Get to work. Bye.”
Modi hung up. Trump was fuming, “No one hangs up on the President of the US!” The chief strategist Steve Bannon was in on the call and he knew the President-elect had to be calmed down.
“Now, now, don’t be a spoilt brat (I know it is hard for you to do) Mr. Trump. Modi did give you some sound advice. Take his first call after becoming the President and then take it from there. I agree, Modi sounded kinda condescending. If he continues, dump him. If not ...”
“OK, OK, you have earned your pay as my senior counsel. Just shut the xxxx up. I need to get back to business ... my businesses.”
P.S You must understand this is a sanitized version of the conversation; one in which a non-native speaker of English talks to another one who behaves like one is really not for public consumption. Deliberately, I retained one such Trumpism (indeed a common Americanism) and if you care, spot it.



Rajalakshmi Iyer said...

Nice one sir. Had a good laugh in a tirey Sunday

mandakolathur said...

Thanks a lot, Rajalakshmi.

Sunday is to get rejuvenated and if this post helped, I am very happy. Thanks for coming in so early.

By the way, as the year is not old, yet,