When did the faux Cream Rise to the Top?

When did the faux Cream Rise to the Top?

When do Tamil brahmins realize they were Tamil Brahmins?

I have been trying to find the answer to the opening question. My effort was truly laymanish: no research, no reading through hundreds of books or research papers, no looking for it in the religious scriptures of Sanatana Dharma (I believe this term gained traction since the 19thcentury, defenestrating Hinduism), no asking others who looked like Tamil brahmins (at least a complexion fairer than pitch black, reasonably narrow nostrils...), of course, not asking those who did not look like Tamil brahmins, and so on. No luck.

But before I venture further, I need to explain the presence of the word faux in the heading. All of us know cream rises to the top. Would faux cream too rise to the top? First, to define it, we may say faux cream looks like cream, feels creamy in hand (that does not help much), and only Tamil brahmins have found out how it tastes (for them, it is a trade secret). But, it does rise to the top.

There is a difference between real milk cream and faux cream; the former rises on its own if left for a while undisturbed, and the latter needs assistance. A tuft of hair (refer figure)helps, but currently this “kudimi” (in Tamil) is not mandated. Look at the far left sub-frame. One sees a white thread that passes over the left shoulder down the back side and rises in the front right part of the abdomen thereby making a complete loop. This is the second mark of a Tamil brahmin.

The third, among Tamil brahmins is their special vernacular (“special” and “vernacular” in one sentence? That is an oxymoron!). But, it suits Tamil brahmins as they are indeed (oxy)morons! 

In Tamil Nadu, Tamil brahmins wonder, at moments of weakness, why their version of spoken Tamil is so open to ridicule. I faced this when I was in the eighth grade at school, the first day in a sub-optimal urban space. Tamil brahmins’ Tamil sounds strange to the ears of other Tamils. But, Tamil brahmins are content with their vernacular and indeed are proud that it sounds strange to other Tamils.

And, their life is oversaturated by rituals, for every little thing, not to speak of big things.Soon after you have your morning cup of coffee (this is a concession), you have to recite a series of some mantras, take a bath, and recite a slightly varying set of mantras before one is allowed to eat. You wish to sit down (and down it must be, on the floor) to have your breakfast (Tamil brahmins break their fast with a full-fledged meal), and you have a specific ritual; a slightly different ritual for the night food, before retiring for the day.

Tamil brahmin wedding rituals are scary. Would you not be scared if as the newly-wed groom you are to show your wife (also newly-wed, of course) a particular little star that is a companion star to a brighter star in the day sky (you can see neither), and ask her to be as faithful to you as the little star always accompanies the bigger star? What about each giving the other some space? No, not Tamil brahmins. “Nothing alien, you see; we are Tamil brahmins.”

When your life ends, you are no more a Tamil brahmin, but your sons are. The burden is shifted onto them. You repeat a mini-ritual on every New Moon day, and once a year, a more elaborate one. 

It is, perhaps, worse than the burden you bore in your lifetime. Tamil brahmins would not allow their sons to grieve their father’s death! You wanted irony, Tamil brahmin’s life is replete with them.

Do all of the above, then you just may turn yourself from Tamil brahmin to a Tamil Brahmin. Yes, it takes that kind of effort for the cream to rise to the top, even of the faux variety. And, what do you do when you do rise to the top? Complain that you are being suppressed in showing all your talents, in suppressing others. The faux cream is not allowed to rise any higher!

I can go on and on, but I will stop here.

Raghuram Ekambaram