Lying to children

I do not know what a tooth fairy is except that is something to assuage a child who lost her milk tooth. Santa Claus is also a fairy tale. And, so are the many tall tales children are told in all cultures to suit any particular situation with a child.

And, the following happened about 34 years ago. I was a guest in a house and the host was a medical doctor, a gastroenterologist. His son, perhaps about 4 years old then was refusing to eat his vegetables, particularly okra/lady finger. The mother was having a hard time. Then, as a measure of help, I told the kid that eating okra is good in developing skills in math.

The doctor, till then must have been watching some match or the other on TV, sprang up like a cat protecting its kittens (I have experience in this! a very educative one at that), and said in an undisguised harsh tone, “No, no, no. Don’t give my kid such false ideas.”

I could have had a heated discussion with the host then and there; yet, I desisted, as it was a gathering of a few more guests. More than that, it was a celebratory function and I did not want to spoil the mood for everyone.

Why am I raking up that long-gone matter now? I am not ready to give excuses, all of them would be lame. The only non-lame reason, but perhaps not acceptable is, I just felt I should do it now.

I would surely not be wrong were I to claim that there could be no parent on earth who had not told her toddler daughter white-faced lies to get out of tight situations. I would also surely not be wrong were I to claim that no child became a social misfit solely because of any of those lies.

Check that.

There is a special class of lies that make children completely fit in their social environment. More than that, were the lies – any of many in that class – not been told, the child would have become a social misfit. This is a double-exception that proves the rule, if I may say so!

Moses did part the sea, didn't you see Ten Commandments?

Lord Krishna lifted a hill with his little finger to shield the villagers from rain brought on by the vengeful Lord Indra.  That is a lie, told to children, and adults too. It has persisted for ages.

Oh, you say that is mythology! Try using a megaphone while saying that and live to hear your own voice. Not possible. In the mid- to late 1980s, I met a student enrolled in Ph.D program who insisted, I mean INSISTED, that the entire global population, excepting two people, participated in the great war as said in the epic Mahabharata. I think he meant only males though he was not specific. Just imagine his child being lied to. My doctor friend would not have taken him down as he did me for lying about okra.

Well, I can continue in this vein, but I would have done so some years back. Now, I just make my point and step back.

Nothing happens and I am happy to let children being told lies of all kinds, harmful or otherwise.

Raghuram Ekambaram