Friday, October 05, 2012

God flies Kingfisher


I do not know what the compulsions are, but newspapers carry what I have termed as token messages of spiritualism. Or, are they better off being named messages of token spiritualism? No matter, as they are meaningless messages, even as tokens. These pieces are typically no longer than seven to eight column inches long and that necessarily means they are short selling spiritualism.
Please understand that I use “short selling” in the true market sense: the underlying assets (securities) are merely borrowed for playing in the market and making a killing. It is the spiritualism market that is on the down slide there, the short sellers are salivating.
Why that aggressive start to this post, you may ask. Well, read the following, one such message from The Hindu of October 5, 2012 entitled Be ready for Him.

“The Lord’s plan[e]s are not revealed to us. Nor do we have the capacity to understand His ways.” However, “[w]e can be ready for His arrival, for we do not know when He will make an appearance.”
I thought that echoed my thoughts when I was waiting to receive a friend of mine at the airport who was flying in on a Kingfisher flight; I only had to change the protagonist from “the Lord” to “Vijay Mallya”.
The spiritual piece endorses the Mallya spirit in other ways too: it talks about having something to give the Lord when He does appear. “We never know in what form the Lord will come to us. But when He does, we must offer Him something.” Just imagine Mallya refusing to take anything you are willing to give him voluntarily. Mallya is God and God is Mallya!
But, why give anything at all? If you had had a hunch back, it would have been straightened. Bhattadri may  not have been "afflicted with paralysis". The message is very specific on these. But, you are free to expand and interpret it anyway you like.
I am taking this this in true spiritual sense. Wait with your appeal in hand and (if and) when the Lord appears incognito, hand it over to Him; presto, you will be rid of the problem. The next time you fly Kingfisher it will depart and arrive on time. 
But, you must have noticed that God has suddenly transmuted Himself into Lalu Prasad Yadav (remember his meeting with the common people in his courtyard. Or, was it in his cow shed?). But, the Mallya imagery is more sophisticated and I will stick with that.
The piece ends thus: “those who have thus offered something to the Lord have been blessed.”
That is, “Bribe thee thy Lord and thou shalt not be disappointed.” Quite an uplifting spiritual message suiting the times of scandal and scam.
I am waiting for the Lord to fly in on a Kingfisher flight. I am going to stare at the most fetching stewardess and if she blinks I know I am locked onto my target. The Lord, of course; what did you think?
Raghuram Ekambaram


2 comments:

Aditi said...

This give and take with God is part and parcel of ritualistic religion. :) It is NOT spiritualism. It is curious that the supposedly 'spiritual' column in Hindu vends religious beliefs in the garb of spiritualism.

I am digressing, but I have flown Kingfisher just one, and that too under very curious circumstances. The Air India flight was cancelled due to flash strike by pilots just for the day. I was stranded at Mumbai Airport in the evening after my meeting. Out of sheer desperation I went to the duty manager of Air India and demanded that they make alternative arrangements and I, along with a few more who had reached the airport uninformed of the flash strike were adjusted in the Kingfisher flight coming to Delhi. The state of food and beverages in business class of Kingfisher was so pathetic,it was worse than Air India...and that's saying something.

mandakolathur said...

It is not only this paper Aditi, every one of them feels the urge to pacify the spiritualists among its clientele through these nano-pseudo-spiritualism!

When was this Air India to KF switch? It must have been recent enough. Let us assume KF goes down (in the business sense) then is it the turn of AI?

RE