Kkhurana v. Khurrana

I do not know how many of you remember the last scene in the movie Lage Raho Munna Bhai. There is a character, played by Kulbhushan Kharbanda, who sets much store by astrology, numerology etc. that finally overcomes his idiocy and throws out one of two ‘K’s at the beginning of his name – Kkhurana becomes the regular Khurana.

I was reminded of this scene as I read the news item Astrologer’s talk show at PGI triggers row in The Hindu of September 2, 2012.

There are a lot of amusing points to be noted in the article but what caught my fancy first and the most was the name of the astrologer, P. Khurrana. The double letter at the beginning of the name in the movie has migrated to the middle in the name of the astrologer. I am wondering when it will be relegated further to the end and finally thrown out. I may have to wait a long time, given that the chief minister of Tamil Nadu is Jayalalithaa (double letter at the end) and she has a great following. But wait I will.

In the meantime let me take you through a few more points that brought smiles to my face, some of them wry. The invited talk by the astrologer became a debate between rationalists and the astrologer. Rationalists never learn – no debate with an astrologer can end in anything but heartburn for them. It was no different at PGI (Post-Graduate Institute of Medical Education and Research), Chandigarh.

The other disconcerting point in the report I noted was the manner in which the Institute Director Y K Chawla justified the whole thing – the talk was a “stress-buster” for the faculty and “it was ‘fine’ whether people agreed or disagreed with Mr. Khurrana’s claims.” The director of a research institute leaves questions hanging with a dismissal vis-à-vis a promise to look into the matter to get at a resolution. This is the type of “wisdom” that weighs the lack of evidence and highly reasoned arguments against God existing on the same pedestal as mere assertions that God exists – a faux equivalence. I say yes and you say no and therefore we are equal!

Though Khurrana was not able to “properly respond” to the questions – nothing too deep, as far as I can see – he did not give an inch. When he was taken to task on his wrong predictions, the response was why people were focusing on his wrong predictions. He could have just as well listed out his correct predictions (for example, “the sun will rise in the east tomorrow morning!”). He did not. This must have amused me but did not because I have heard this before.

The astrologer seems not to have dropped names but came close enough: “…alluded several times to his clientele among the ‘rich and famous’”. That is, his whole enterprise focusing on “how horoscopes could predict the career [of his clientele]” depended on handouts from the rich and famous.

He referred to Mars and how its presence “in a particular house could cause accidents, how a host of other findings could be used to predict the future and dwelt on length how an astrologer could ‘counsel’ patients who were desperate.” But no one questioned whether his predictions will be fine-tuned now that Curiosity is sitting, indeed roaming the surface of that planet. Also, note the word “could” which carries no certainty – I do not know whether the astrologer used this term or used “will” and the reporter changed them. But I am in no mood to be generous to Khurrana.

He sidestepped challenges about predicting the future as regards their illnesses – with dates and other details – of newborns at PGI so that their future could be planned for. This did not surprise me, though the sheer waste of time the event led to dismayed me.

So, as I said earlier, I will have to wait a long time before these astrological double letters will be thrown in the dung heap of superstitions. But I have no options but to wait.

Raghuram Ekambaram