Thursday, August 30, 2012

Suggestions for mangliks


This is perhaps too late in the day for Aishwarya and Abhishek. But, the last I heard they were doing fine, apparently all thanks to their astrologer’s prescriptions to pacify God Mars and the couple’s implicit obedience to the astrologer’s dictates (he is more powerful than Mars, if you did not know).
I have heard of this astrological stupidity of Mangal Dosha too many times to let go an opportunity to take a dig at it. Had it remained a harmless stupidity, that would have been a different matter. But one of my colleagues suffered the ignominy of wanting to get married but not being able to find a suitable match because he was a Manglik (true there must have been other conditions, but Mars being Mars …), a millstone around his neck that he could not cast off. The futile search must have gone on for more than a decade, if I should take a guess. This is a post to tell him and the others like him what to do to find an early solution.
Look at the pictures below.


Nothing beautiful, exciting, inviting etc. right? Even the sand dunes of Rajasthan deserts look better. This definitely is not the place anyone would choose for his or honeymoon, such a barren land. But Mangliks should go there on their honeymoon. The curse of Mars will be negated, I guarantee you.
So you ask, where is it? And, you are suspicious because you do not see any temples? Perhaps the only one in the entire Solar System?
Oh, I thought you would have known, or at least guessed. It is on Mars! On Gale Crater and around Bradbury Landing, the site where NASA’s Mars rover touched down. All you have to do there is to light a votive lamp and pray to the God of Mars – man and wife dutifully side by side and with folded hands.
You are home free! Free in the true sense because this advice, no better or worse than any of the other remedies our honorable astrologers give, comes free of cost. 
Just pay NASA for the round trip.
Raghuram Ekambaram
P.S. I wrote the above with quite a bit of anguish because of what my colleague suffered and the countless others who must have, must be suffering. It is just that they and the people around them were stupid and they suffered unnecessarily, all thanks to superstitions that have a vice-like grip. Man’s highly capable proxy (as the photographs show) has reached Mars, but the planet still rules. Isn’t this a pity?
Pictures from NASA

8 comments:

Indian Satire said...

Raghu, appreciate the sarcasm, no better way to tell the superstitious

dsampath said...

it is sad that even now we believe in charlatans and a divining system based on empiricism.

palahali said...

Pl refer to THE GOD AND THE ASTROLOGER
(in sulekha) where this problem has been addressd

mandakolathur said...

Pala, it looks like there is no Sulekha now. it iis only some rivr ... of course, I will google the title and I should get it.

Thanks.

RE

mandakolathur said...

DS sir,

charlatans are charlatans only because they have the power to make people believe without evidence!

RE

mandakolathur said...

Thanks Balu, but sarcasm is too subtle to get through thick skins!

RE

Tomichan Matheikal said...

I was under the impression up to now that only women were supposed to suffer from this problem from Mars. Now you have instructed me that the religion (superstition) is not gender-biased.

Why doesn't your colleague just shirk his shoulders to this superstition and propose to women just like any other man who has no idea about his star/planet/whatever would do?

mandakolathur said...

Matheikal, you yourself have answered your question! SUPERSTITION AND ITS HOLD ON ONE'S PSYCHE.

RE